It’s Just Cancer
2012
I was diagnosed on January 29, 2012 with Stage IV Lung Cancer and was originally given one year to live. How the heck can I say it’s just cancer?
Honestly, from the beginning I felt like it was a mistake. That someone was going to tell me that they got the names mixed up. It just didn’t feel real. I mean, come on now, I was taking martial arts three to fours days a week, I don’t smoke and eat pretty good (except for those darn chocolate chip cookies). How could this crazy busy woman have Stage IV Lung Cancer?
Well, it appears anyone can get cancer, even if you do “everything right”. I believe the key to dealing with cancer is to look at it like, well, its just cancer. It’s just another obstacle in life. Don’t get me wrong, cancer sucks. I never would have said “pick me”, but it is what it is.
From the moment I was diagnosed, I had an over-whelming feeling that everything was going to be okay. God has given me all the strength and blessings to beat this. I truly believe that with a positive attitude, a great support system, including a team of great doctors and a strong spiritual foundation, you can live a long life with cancer.
I have had a moment here and there of being sad or worried, I’ve also had a mini-breakdown or two, but I’ve been told that’s normal. You see, God already had this planned. He didn’t cause the cancer, but he already figured out a way for me to beat this. Stage IV lung cancer is no picnic, but it truly has been a blessing.
How can I be so arrogant as to say that cancer is a blessing? Well, for one, for the first time in over twenty years I finally realized how crazy my life was. The pace I was living was just unreal. I never stopped. I mean really stopped to change the pace of my life. I don’t think I ever made it through a TV program without getting up at some point to do something. Many nights I would fall asleep on the couch sitting up in absolute exhaustion over the chaos of my day. I so much wanted to be everything to everyone. I wanted to be the best employee, the best wife, the best mother, the best martial artist…I just wanted to make everyone happy and I never stopped.
Cancer was a blessing because it forced me to stop. It made me think about my family and loved ones in a completely new way. Don’t get me wrong, I love with all my heart. I always have and like everyone else, just want to be loved. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with cancer that I realized how much I was loved and how being kind to others had really impacted all our lives. All of a sudden all these amazing, wonderful people were here for me.
How did I get so blessed? I ask myself that over and over again. Thousands of people have been praying for me. I have received cards from across the United States. From people I don’t even know and even other countries. My heart shines with the love I’ve received from others.
Lord, it’s just me, Patty. What have I done that is so special that would cause thousands of people to pray for me? Don’t answer that…just….thank you.
